Under the Nihil
Under the Nihil is a 2011 novel by Andy Nowicki.
"What if you could take a pill that removed all of your inhibitions, including your fear of death? The unnamed narrator of Under the Nihil, a washed-out seminary student, has endured a terrifying spiritual and mental collapse. Now a mysterious government agency has offered him a chance to take part in an experimental program involving a new top-secret drug named nihil, a mind-altering chemical compound created to enable American soldiers to fight with the same fearlessness and fanaticism as Muslim suicide bombers. Feeling he has little to lose, he agrees to be the shadow government’s guinea pig. But nobody could predict the consequences once this complex and troubled man had gone Under the Nihil."